I have somethings to say to you. I’d rather have said these things to your face. Before you reject all theses words as me being in my feelings, just try and hear and understand what it is that I am saying to you.

First of all, I’d like to apologize. Apologize one for not having enough courage to stand on what I know is my truth. It’s true, I love you, I never understood , and still don’t understand why this love I have for you is unshakeable, unbreakable, and just plain ole’ undeniable.

Despite my attempts to ignore your pain and resentment as it pertains to love and continued to love on you in all the ways I knew and know how. Other attempts I tried to show you, but seemed to me those attempts went unnoticed, Maybe then, I should have asked what love language spoke to you, but I though showing them all eventually I’d get it right. A few times I’ve convinced myself to give up , and although giving up wasn’t easy as I thought it was, I am convinced it may have not been the correct choice to make.

Secondly, I apologize for ultimately contributing to the idea of not being able to be trusted. If I had it to go over, I’d do it differently. Ultimately, I can say.. I’ve loved you so much for so long that I ignored the fact that my love for you contributed to you not being able to trust me.

Third, I apologize for giving up. Ultimately portraying that I had no patience, that if i couldn’t have what I thought I wanted, felt I deserved in the time frame I wanted it in, then maybe I wasn’t what you wanted. It’s fear, fear of the unknown. Overthinking, not having a plan, “going with the flow” not knowing the destination scares the hell out of me. Afraid that loving your isnt the best things for me, afraid that I have loved in vain, unreciprocated.

I know how you feel about apologies, I too share those views. These apologies are me holding myself accountable for the action that I may have contributed to this entire situation.